Your profile here, you could add your own display picture in place of that.
Your loves, hates, wishlist. Show some attitude, cast an impression on others and be cool. For once, it doesn't matter if you are arrogant or proud cause it's your blog.

looking back at the fury filled post previously, to think how much its so not worth my energy, why exert my strength on something which the other party cant reach to a common view, agreement. *shucks*

went to school but didnt attend the class today, cause i overslept and by the time i reached, the teacher had already dismissed the whole class, oh well, its my wrong in anyway. continued my bus journey to queensway shopping centre to join the rest of them. hmmm seems like peeps in the group has deepened the grude against marcus, i cant do any single stuff, im too minor to influence the whole group but i will not do the same as they did, i will use my own way to show them wats my stand.

went bugis's virtualland while waiting for robbie to settle his work for the day, didnt have luck in catching the soft toys = ( ..... played maximum tune 3 DX with my white R-32 skyline, done tuning my Supra, shall concentrate on R32 now. after the session in the arcade, the group went on the search for the restaurant that robbie introduced, lol, everyone pointed a direction of the whereabouts of that restaurant, we muggled in tan quee lan street for quite a while before we finally found the shop.

settled in the shop, was surprised at the cleanliness and the ambiance of the surroundings, everything and everywhere were so clean and we ordered all the food that were going to fill all the stomach. had alot of laughter and jokes, later we had coffee at TCC, i had my minty mocha but i still preferred Coffee bean's minty mocha = (, the tampines contigent ride on a cab and home sweet home.

its a night filled with warmth yet heartaching ..... ming yu has been closest to me in the group as she talked to me the most and tonight, she holded my hand throughout the dinner and coffee session, my heart was almost tearing up to pieces, as thoughts flooded endlessly in my mind. images of michelle, xiao zhu and ming yu flashes through me, repeatedly ... i sank deeper into my thoughts on my way home on the bus, i don like ming yu but i can felt the warmth and the comfort of being pampered by someone. for the past three months, i have been trying to catch up with xiao zhu, hope that she would see the sparks in us but things havent been going on well recently as we sort of having communication break down, secrets walled me out of her world and so does she. so much to say, yet nothing can be done. its the most happy thing to be loved and a tiring chore to love someone, i truely agree with that phrase now. jean advise that if things cant work out, i should move on. move on to the next one. this idea struggled within me, the feelings that have rooted in me, now i have to tear out all that pieces of affection. it sure hurts me .... lingering in the junction of decisions again, life is about everyday's choices and it makes a far bigger effect on the latter.

im trapped, messed and an unspeakable feeling .... does anyone do understand me ? putting a smile face and get on with things fast but who really does understand ? now im listening to

你把我灌醉, a perfect song to describe my mood.

if you wanna show your nobility by defaming all your ex boyfriends to impress or to get empathy from your current boyfriend, like how you talked bad about Jeff to me, then i think you have reached your goals but not your motive.

how ungrateful can someone get ? i have grown up so should you .......

after this incident, i had a reviewed of my life, i think im really blessed. i have a very understanding mum who would standby me in even the hardest and toughest situation, fun loving sisters who would bring laughter and joy to me and a bunch of magnanimous friend, listening to me in times of sorrow and share happiness unselfishly ....... do you ? life aint all about relation, i have got over that, have you ?

the feelings are stirring the shit out of me ... its getting worse and worse as each day passed by. but i cant do a single shit. came across this song, its by Ne-yo, the lyrics in the song touched my heart, it feels so alike to me yet not exactly the same.

Ne-yo
Mad

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh...
Oh oh oh...

[Verse 1]

She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Mmmmm
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
Ohhh...
And now is I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
(And what's even worse).
That we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for...

[Hook]

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

[Verse 2]

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you've already known).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

Whoaaaaaaaaa...
[What happened to workin' it out].
We've falled into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.

So what the hell do we do now...
It's all for...

[Hook]

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

[Bridge]

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

woke up in the mid of my sleep, when its like 4.49am, im restless but cant stop thinking of her, im thwarted but there wont be any changes to the situation. soon, her birthday will be coming ..... planning her birthday with honey and most probably will go bintan with her and honey for a small holiday. hmm brain storming for ideas what can we do for her birthday, of course wanna it unforgettable memories for her, oh well, im sure i can do it.

went to Waraku Pasta at Cineleisure with all my good old buddies, Adrian Tan, Larry Tok, Andy Long, Ang Siak Wei, Daniel Lin, Hang Loon, Sam Wee, Ye Jun, Jones Tay (and his wife), Tze Yong, John Lim and the most important Auston Lam, he came back to Singapore to transfer plan to Australia to commence his term. I had Caborana Waraku Style Pasta, YUMMY ! though everyone looks different but the feelings never changed, though we dont contact each other much but we are still as closely knitted, just like how we used to be, spanking each other's butt, throwing pillows at each other, AWWW i miss those days and with michelle, who always companied me much of my time ....... dont hope much for my near coming future, cause i still cant seems to find the direction which i wanna go, i know its kinda late for not planning for my future but no one knows wat might happen ~ so shall take one step at a time.

alright shall try to count my sheeps again ...... night folks ..... love ya all.

weeeeeeee ..... back to blog again. wahaha, as lazy as ever to blog .... oh well, thats me i guess.

went to phuture with xiaozhu and honey (*P.S honey is not my honey but xiao zhu's honey, but we call her that) its been so long since i stepped in there, but xiao zhu missing in action in zouk longer than me so she has been anticipating this day for very long. but she had a bad day at work, so the undesirable feelings carried on even in zouk. hmmm hong yin messaged me and asked me to call her because of something important so i went out to the favourite place of mine and talked to her, jia yi and her bf seems to reach the end of the relation journey. spend close to an hour on the phone, didnt notice xiao zhu called and smsed me so much till i look at my phone ..... she is fuming mad at me. IM SORRY to keep you waiting xiao zhu, i would want to spend more time with you but need to settle some stuffs thats why im away.

had a flaming laborgini with honey, share a jug of red bull vodka and a bottle heiniken with xiao zhu. they had till their fill and we went phuture to start the party for the night !!! hmm honey emoing, xiao zhu emoing too , ARGH ~ luckily they did not let emo took the better side of them. they had a fun time dancing crazily at the dance floor, i had my fair share too. guess i treasured the time when xiao zhu is dancing next to me only, other than that im staring at honey, xiao zhu and another unknown lady dancing next to me .....

falls on me ..... every thing falls on me to carry on. i not saying my words but you said it ...... all that you dream, all the beautiful sky .... falls on me.

talked to her on the phone as per same ..... but this time round, its a different me, no longer desired, the flames of desire vanished since i've cleared my head. i not too sure what she is looking for or wants in this bond, friendship or relationship or mixed ? she passed this remark casually "we are ambiguous for this lifetime", guess she didnt notice the impact of this sentence on me but i took it in very seriously. well, she is surrounded by all the well to do guys, overseas graduate, engineers, business man blah blah, and wat am i ? just a cheap skate lil guy whom can be picked up along the streets. i concede !!! SERIOUSLY I DO ! the path is clear to me ..... there aint other options around to mingle, neither do i have any stakes to bet on. well well .... GAME'S OVER for me. do watever she wans ..... and i shall stay around for i can.

just finished watching Twilight the second time. like others, it didnt failed to keep me fascinated throughout the movie, just kept craving for more ! when edward hugs bella at the very ending of the show, dancing gracefully with the flow of the music, it envies me much. im dreaming of dancing with the one i love throughout the night, just the both of us, without the perceptions of anyone and everyone, just the both of us, without the disturbances of worldly matters, just the both of us, without any worries and thoughts except the image of one another in each other's heart.

wats hidden the rug sack named future ? i don know, but no matter wat, no matter how tired i am about life, i will still embrace it with much anticipation ..........

Hazel flashes through my mind, think she is much better off with Dr Yam as her best pal rather than me, an outsider whom can understand anything she is talking. well, i accepted the fact .... = ) , as long as she is happy. As for James, my best pal still .... but didnt had time to meet up ...... like jean said "miss the time when zen, me, you and james were together" , YUP ! i seriously do miss it too, simple without any motives.

ITS TIME TO SHUFFLE EVERYTIME AGAIN ! ........ *shucks*

i miss you ..... i miss you, all i could do is to miss you .......

meow gave me 2 surprises earlier on when i met her in bugis after her work. ahahaha, went to have chicken rice at a very warm coffeeshop behind bugis junction. she kept complaining and whining as its really very hot, well thats girl i guess. about the surprises she gave me, its my christmas present ! she bought a latest subcrew cap and a harrods english breakfast tea, its really to my joy. i didnt know meow for long but she is generous as that to get me such presents *pls don pamper me so much, i will get spoilt * she was choosing between yankees and subcrew's cap as she don know which one suits me best but i guess its because she love subcrew more than anything thats why she got it. =P ....... i really love the present alot, thanks much much and alot alot to meow, hope my present for you will be here soon too !!! pls wait a litlle while longer k.


i had alot of questions to her storing within me, but i cant just pop it to her. first im too coward to ask all that questions , secondly i wouldnt want to wreck the bond that we have already build. the doubts are gonna explode inside me. im feeling so suffocated .....

somehow she has show signs that she just that she wans to remain as friends, i wouldnt have interpret the tale tell signs wrongly. if thats what she wish ..... she will get it, anyway its just another wishful thinking of me ....... no one gets the blame not to be blamed but me. = ) .......

argh ...... wanna blog but when im in the blogger's screen i cant seems to pour my thoughts into words and then type it out. feeling lousy cause bum into some obstruction in life. didnt wan to be too naggy shall try to keep the post short and neat ......

Bowling
guess that is what makes me most happy throughout the entire week .... went CDANS and bowled with Ivan (*he finally jioed me for bowling after 3 years of waiting) saw roger ni, tiac pin and his bunch over there too. Ivan and me bowling for like 8 games ..... i cant hit a single 200 game, but at least i had a 193 game and my average for that session was great ~!! hmm coming 28th dec had a fun bowl with marie and han feng ...... so looking forward to it. shall continue with my bowling frenzy once again .....

Dota
hmm ..... guess im still a noob after playing for years ...... too lousy to play with anyone in my class i guess. made them lose always. = ((

Relation
had been out with meow frequently for the past 2 weeks, we have been very close with each other, we can linked each other frequencies very much alike. i know i had a crush with her since earlier on but had been trying to suppress it as much ...... went to cine and watch Ip Man the movie with her last night, joking around with 'our kid' in her stomach ..... ahahaha, cant stand her nonsense cause im a nonsense being too. got pass the R1 guy finally ..... its a great leap for me i guess cause she seems to be still dwelling over him till now and i dont feel good she is relating her past with him to me ...... ooh she is quite a vampire ~ kept biting me =_= ...... make me felt as it im a piece of fatty meat. hmmm dint get to see her tonight as she went for her friend's birthday celebration. ahaha at least she smsed me and said she wish im around with her, it makes me feel so glad instantly. still ..... i don know how she feels about me but its ok, the present state is already not too bad i guess.